Prick Cabin Weekly Q & A!

Good morning from a frigid Prick Cabin on a busy Monday in the TriState! Uncle PMAC would like to extend his congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals and all of their fans, as the Redbirds won their 11th World Series title Friday night over the Texas Rangers! What else do I want to do? Well how about I pat myself on the prick for predicting the Cards would win in 7 Games?! Let's be honest, folks, I've now gone 2-0 in my last two Championship predictions, because I locked up the Mavericks in 6 Games, and now the Cards came through in 7! Enough is fuckin enough! Halloween at the Cabin?! Who gives a fuck!? Every time I pull my prick it's like a scene out of Paranormal Activity!!! I got your fuckin Puss In Boots right here, you cuntlicking shmucks! Now that we have all that settled, I'd like to welcome in Tony LaRussa for the weekly Cabin Conversation...

Uncle PMAC: "Welcome to the Cabin, Tony, and congratulations on winning your third World Series championship ring. Has it sunk in yet?"

Tony LaRussa: "I don't know, PMAC. Is the Titanic still sailing? I feel fuckin great, I feel loose!"

Uncle PMAC: "What are you? Some sort of history buff?"

Tony LaRussa: "No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

Uncle PMAC: "You seemed to be pretty happy riding atop those clydesdales at the parade yesterday? What's that all about?"

Tony LaRussa: "(blushes) I like to ride without a saddle, if you know what I mean, and plus I like to suck those babies off back in the barn."

Uncle PMAC: "Mi scuzzi?"

Tony LaRussa: "You heard me, Uncle PMAC! I like to stick Budweisers up the horses' asses, and then pass out at the traffic light on the way home! What the fuck is wrong with that?"

Uncle PMAC: "Are you done, Tony?"

Tony LaRussa: "I may not be the brightest guy in the world, Uncle PMAC, but I'm certainly not dumb!"

Uncle PMAC: "How did you find your steak this morning at breakfast?"

Tony LaRussa: "I merely looked underneath my home fries, and there it was!"

Uncle PMAC: "Do you enjoy Halloween, and if so, will you be dressing up tonight?"

Tony LaRussa: "What's it matter? I fuckin hate Halloween, but I might dress up like you, you skinny creep."

Uncle PMAC: "How's the boy?"

Tony LaRussa: "What boy is that?"

Uncle PMAC: "The one you sleep with!"

Tony LaRussa: "Very funny, fucko, I don't know if I told you this, but I fuckin hated Moneyball."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actress?"

Tony LaRussa: "Rene Russo."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actor?"

Tony LaRussa: "Ben Stiller."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite entertainer?"

Tony LaRussa: "Chingy."

Uncle PMAC: "If you had to be stuck in a foxhole with someone, who would it be?"

Tony LaRussa: "Pamela Anderson, that's easy. No pun intended!"

Uncle PMAC: "What's your favorite movie?"

Tony LaRussa: "Barb Wire."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite meal?"

Tony LaRussa: "Kibbles and bits."

Uncle PMAC: "Three dinner guests?"

Tony LaRussa: "Benji, Mr. Ed, and Air Bud."

Uncle PMAC: "This fuckin can't end soon enough."

Tony LaRussa: "Funny, I said the same thing when I was banging your girlfriend last night."

Prick Cabin Weekly Q & A!

Good afternoon, folks, and welcome to another edition of the Prick Cabin Weekly Q & A! Uncle PMAC would like to welcome Prince Fielder into my humble abode for an amicable heart to heart. I want to know the real Prince Fielder. I want to know what makes this fat ass tick!

Uncle PMAC: "How are you, Prince? Welcome to the Cabin."

Prince Fielder: "Fanfuckintastic, Uncle PMAC! Thanks for having me!"

Uncle PMAC: "My pleasure, Prince. So, how does it feel to be playing in your first NLCS?"

Prince Fielder: "Well, it feels orgasmic (laughs). I guess I'll have to call my physician asap, huh? My cock will explode if we're able to hold off the Cardinals!"

Uncle PMAC: "That's a little too much information, Prince. What's your fuckin problem?"

Prince Fielder: "Mi, scuzzi, PMAC. I'm just excited to finally be here!"

Uncle PMAC: "You don't have to answer this, but do you remember your first blowjob?"

Prince Fielder: "Sure I do!"

Uncle PMAC: "How long did it take for the guy to cum?"

Prince Fielder: "Woah!?! You got the wrong idea, you fuckin asshole!"

Uncle PMAC: "So you're married? Then what did you get your wife for her birthday last month?"

Prince Fielder: "She said she wanted something that could go from 0-200 in six seconds, so I bought her a fuckin scale!"

Uncle PMAC: "Interesting, have you looked in the mirror lately? You're not nervous some teams might be hesitant to sign you this offseason due to your weight?"

Prince Fielder: "They don't pay rent, do they?"

Uncle PMAC: "They don't?"

Prince Fielder: "You're a skinny fuckin prick, so what the fuck do you know about it?"

Uncle PMAC: "I'm not even going to go there, pal. This is not the time or place."

Prince Fielder: "You bet your fuckin ass it isn't. If you want to chit-chat about weight, than go suck off my dad Cecil! I'm sure he has some extra fuckin meat for ya!"

Uncle PMAC: "Who's your favorite actress?"

Prince Fielder: "Jodie Foster."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actor?"

Prince Fielder: "Brendan Fraser."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite entertainer?"

Prince Fielder: "Peabo Bryson."

Uncle PMAC: "If you had to be stuck in a foxhole with someone, who would it be?"

Prince Fielder: "Corey Hart, that white boy makes me laugh!"

Uncle PMAC: "What's your favorite meal?"

Prince Fielder: "I like a good veal chop."

Uncle PMAC: "Three dinner guests?"

Prince Fielder: "Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, & Paula Abdul."

Uncle PMAC: "Wow. This can't end quick enough, thank you for your time, Prince."

Prince Fielder: "(laughs) That's what she said, right?!"

Prick Cabin Weekly Q & A!

Good afternoon, folks, and welcome to another edition of the Prick Cabin Weekly Q & A. Today we have a special guest on a Football Friday, and his name is Mike Vick! Vick is coming off a concussion he suffered in last week's loss to Atlanta, but he's looking forward to getting back out on the field Sunday afternoon versus the New York Giants. I caught up with Vick at the Cabin just a couple hours ago, and he had some interesting things to say. Enjoy...

Uncle PMAC: "How are you, Mike? Thanks for coming in today. First off, I have to ask you one question. How's your head feeling from the concussion last week?"

Mike Vick: "Honestly, Uncle PMAC? Like your face - it needs surgery."

Uncle PMAC: "Interesting, so are you saying you trust Mike Kafka?"

Mike Vick: "(laughs) I wouldn't trust Kafka with my dog, man."

Uncle PMAC: "Do you enjoy playing for Coach Reid?"

Mike Vick: "Do fat kids love cake?"

Uncle PMAC: "My mother told me never to answer a question with a question."

Mike Vick: "Well, I'm not your fuckin mother, so shut the fuck up and wear it, prick!"

Uncle PMAC: "Who is Ron Mexico?"

Mike Vick: "Ron Mexico is a smooth operator with the ladies, he knows how to make the pussy really wet, (laughs) you know what I'm saying? That motherfucker never wears condoms, and if he did, he'd have to wear a Hefty bag."

Uncle PMAC: "What's your take on the Giants this weekend?"

Mike Vick: "My take is that we're going to stomp all over those punks! That wigger Tom Coughlin ain't gonna know what hit his ass."

Uncle PMAC: "Who has the smallest babydick on the Eagles?"

Mike Vick: "(chuckles) Ha, that's an easy one, Trent Cole. That nigga has the smallest babydick anyone has ever seen. I even brought a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers into the showers after practice the other day because I heard him complaining he had to take a leak."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actor?"

Mike Vick: "Paul Rudd."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actress?"

Mike Vick: "Charlize Theron."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite entertainer?"

Mike Vick: "Me."

Uncle PMAC: "Three dinner guests?"

Mike Vick: "Nancy Lopez, Danica Patrick, and Picabo Street."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite meal?"

Mike Vick: "Collard greens, and biscuits with gravy."

Uncle PMAC: "If you could have one prick in a foxhole with you, who would it be?"

Mike Vick: "Cesar Millan."

Uncle PMAC: "In closing, Mike, how far do you expect the Eagles to go this year, as you guys are now sitting at 1-1?"

Mike Vick: "We'll go as far as I want to go. Who knows? Maybe I don't give a shit? Maybe I do. All I know is that I'll fuck all the motherfuckers that wanna fuck."

Uncle PMAC: "Well, you really need to wake up and smell the Starbucks, pal. Good luck the rest of the way."

Mike Vick: "(laughs) No thanks."

Prick Cabin Weekly Q & A!

Good morning, folks, and welcome to another edition of Cabin Conversations with yours truly, Uncle PMAC. I was unable to meet with Rex Ryan last week due to prior engagements, so I've rescheduled to have him back later this fall for an intimate 1-on-1. Today we will be getting to know Jered "The Jeweler" Weaver, he of the shiny new five-year $85 million extension via the Los Angeles Angels, and flowing blonde locks. I don't pretend to be Roy Firestone here at the Cabin, so please have some patience with me. This isn't Up Close, ok? I have my own way of doing things, and I expect this to be a professional interview. 

Uncle PMAC: "Good morning, Jered, and congratulations on your contract extension. You must be a happy man, huh?"

JW: "First off, Uncle PMAC, thanks for having me here at the Cabin. This is really an honor to sit down with a gentleman and a scholar such as yourself. I'm very thrilled to have inked a new deal with the Angels. I love it in southern California, and the fans are the best."

Uncle PMAC: "Interesting, so you think the fans are a loyal group?"

JW: "(shrugs his shoulders) Anyone who says differently, well, let's just say they have sour grapes."

Uncle PMAC: "Do you expect to win the Cy Young this season?"

JW: "Is today Monday?"

Uncle PMAC: "(laughs) You're a rather confident fellow, Jered. What's your brother Jeff up to?"

JW: "(smirks) That's between Jeff and I. I'm not so sure he wants me to publicize what he's been doing lately, so I'd appreciate it if you would respect his privacy."

Uncle PMAC: "Don't you think that's sort of sketchy? Is he wacking off with his left hand or something?"

JW: "Listen, fuckface! Don't you ever speak about my brother in that tone again. I'm not that cunt Adam Scott! I'll flip this fuckin table over, and stick my elbow down your throat!"

Uncle PMAC: "I'd like to see you fuckin try, asshole!"

JW: "Do you have any more fuckin questions for me, or can I skedaddle?"

Uncle PMAC: "Did you check in on how the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries nuptials went?"

JW: "You bet Khloe's fat fuckin ass I did! I'll bang all three of those sisters, so you can tell Kris or Lamar or Scott, they can all go fuck themselves. Weaver rules!"

Uncle PMAC: "Who would you rather eat out, Catwoman or Wonderwoman?"

JW: "That's easy, Catwoman. She's a real pussy."

Uncle PMAC: "Why?"

JW: "Her twat isn't nearly as sweaty as that bodybuilding bitch - Wonderwoman."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actor?"

JW: "Keanu Reeves."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actress?"

JW: "Whoopi Goldberg."

Uncle PMAC: "Would you fuck her?"

JW: "No question about it, and I'd do it sans condom (chuckles)."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite entertainer?"

JW: "Paula Abdul."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite movie?"

JW: "Twister."

Uncle PMAC: "Three dinner guests?"

JW: "Richard Pryor, Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite meal?"

JW: "Belgian waffle."

Uncle PMAC: "If you could have one person in a foxhole with you, who would it be?"

JW: "Kanye West."

Uncle PMAC: "What are your expecations for the rest of this season?"

JW: "(giggles) Well, I like to set the bar very low, Uncle PMAC. I lead my life similar to a limbo contest, so if I flame out, and go 0-6 the rest of the way, then so be it. At least I'll be able to say, 'it was a heckuva ride.' "

Uncle PMAC: "Thanks a lot, Jered. Take care."

Prick Cabin Sunday Q & A!

Good evening, folks, and welcome to the first weekly edition of the Prick Cabin Sunday Q & A. I'm really looking forward to inviting these athletes into the Cabin for a nice and intimate 1-on-1 with yours truly - Uncle PMAC!!! Some people say I'm not a personable guy, but I think those same people have zero fuckin clue what they're talking about. So fuckin what if I walk by my neighbors and don't say hi? I couldn't care less! Next thing you fuckin know, you're always fuckin having to talk to them from there on out! Who gives a fuckin fuck? I'll stir my scrambled eggs with my cock before I start taking part in that fuckin nonsense!

Our first guest at the Cabin will be Adam Scott, who has just finished off a tremendous weekend at Firestone, by winning the 2011 W.G.C. Bridgestone Invitational at an impressive -17 under par.

Uncle PMAC: "Welcome to Prick Cabin, Adam, and congratulations on your victory today. What was your mood like this morning when you knew you were in position to finish off this tournament?"

AS: "Well, PMAC, the whole idea of winning actually put me in a rather foul mood. I hopped out of bed, and I hid in my closet for a little bit, until my caddy Stevie Williams burst into my room to let me know I was about to miss my tee-time."

Uncle PMAC: "Interesting. So you probably didn't brush your teeth, correct?"

AS: "(laughs) I didn't put on any deodorant either."

Uncle PMAC: "I know this is off topic, but did you watch the NFL Hall of Fame induction ceremonies yesterday?"

AS: "How the fuck could I possibly have time for that, you fuckin prick?"

Uncle PMAC: "Who are you calling a prick, dickbreath? I ask the fuckin questions here, not you! Do you want this interview to get nasty?"

AS: "Stevie and I like to get nasty when he tells me stories about Tiger's sluts!"

Uncle PMAC: "Oh really? Well do you make that fuckin wallaby sit on your long putter, or do you just sit there, and let him suck you off?"

AS: "I don't make him do anything raunchy like that, but sometimes he plays with my divot tool (blushes)."

Uncle PMAC: "You're such a fuckin pervert, Adam! What does your mother think of this?"

AS: "She encourages it."

Uncle PMAC: "Do you consider yourself to be a good golfer?"

AS: "Is today Sunday?"

Uncle PMAC: "Why are you being such a wise-ass to me?"

AS: "Honestly? I can't stand you."

Uncle PMAC: "What drives you?"

AS: "Cialis."

Uncle PMAC: "When you bang bitches that look like Emma Watson and Maggie Gyllenhaal, how is it?"

AS: "Well, it's similar to the Klondike 5 Seconds of Glory."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actor?"

AS: "Wesley Snipes."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actress?"

AS: "Jennifer Aniston."

Uncle PMAC: "Would you fuck her?"

AS: "I don't know, would you have a fuckin threesome with Mike & Molly? Get a clue! Of course I'd bang that broad!"

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite entertainer?"

AS: "Kenny G."

Uncle PMAC: "Three dinner guests?"

AS: "Greg Norman, Prince, and Rex Ryan."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite meal?"

AS: "Fish and chips."

Uncle PMAC: "Favorite movie?"

AS: "Big Boobs: Film School Dropouts."

Uncle PMAC: "What can PGA Tour fans expect from you, as your career moves on?"

AS: "They can bank on watching an incredibly horny guy play some pretty brutal golf for long periods of time, but once in awhile, they'll see me get lucky, and that will be XXX rated."

Uncle PMAC: "Thank you for your time, Adam. I appreciate it."