Uncle PMAC: "How are you, Prince? Welcome to the Cabin."
Prince Fielder: "Fanfuckintastic, Uncle PMAC! Thanks for having me!"
Uncle PMAC: "My pleasure, Prince. So, how does it feel to be playing in your first NLCS?"
Prince Fielder: "Well, it feels orgasmic (laughs). I guess I'll have to call my physician asap, huh? My cock will explode if we're able to hold off the Cardinals!"
Uncle PMAC: "That's a little too much information, Prince. What's your fuckin problem?"
Prince Fielder: "Mi, scuzzi, PMAC. I'm just excited to finally be here!"
Uncle PMAC: "You don't have to answer this, but do you remember your first blowjob?"
Prince Fielder: "Sure I do!"
Uncle PMAC: "How long did it take for the guy to cum?"
Prince Fielder: "Woah!?! You got the wrong idea, you fuckin asshole!"
Uncle PMAC: "So you're married? Then what did you get your wife for her birthday last month?"
Prince Fielder: "She said she wanted something that could go from 0-200 in six seconds, so I bought her a fuckin scale!"
Uncle PMAC: "Interesting, have you looked in the mirror lately? You're not nervous some teams might be hesitant to sign you this offseason due to your weight?"
Prince Fielder: "They don't pay rent, do they?"
Uncle PMAC: "They don't?"
Prince Fielder: "You're a skinny fuckin prick, so what the fuck do you know about it?"
Uncle PMAC: "I'm not even going to go there, pal. This is not the time or place."
Prince Fielder: "You bet your fuckin ass it isn't. If you want to chit-chat about weight, than go suck off my dad Cecil! I'm sure he has some extra fuckin meat for ya!"
Uncle PMAC: "Who's your favorite actress?"
Prince Fielder: "Jodie Foster."
Uncle PMAC: "Favorite actor?"
Prince Fielder: "Brendan Fraser."
Uncle PMAC: "Favorite entertainer?"
Prince Fielder: "Peabo Bryson."
Uncle PMAC: "If you had to be stuck in a foxhole with someone, who would it be?"
Prince Fielder: "Corey Hart, that white boy makes me laugh!"
Uncle PMAC: "What's your favorite meal?"
Prince Fielder: "I like a good veal chop."
Uncle PMAC: "Three dinner guests?"
Prince Fielder: "Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, & Paula Abdul."
Uncle PMAC: "Wow. This can't end quick enough, thank you for your time, Prince."
Prince Fielder: "(laughs) That's what she said, right?!"
