Chowder Du Jour!

I want to start this segment off by apologizing to the unwashed masses for my inability to bring this fuckin broad to light earlier. There is no excuse, folks. How Claudia Sampedro hasn't been invited to the Cabin by now is a low down dirty fuckin shame!!!!! Where's Keenan Ivory Wayans when you need him!? Now I might start off my mornings with a daily Cafe Patron on ice, and  a 1/2 dozen oysters, but this gal understands the method to my madness. I walk around the office all day long pitching more fuckin tents than a motherfuckin Bass Pro Shop!!! Ok? I need to get fuckin botox on my prick, because my cock looks like it came from fuckin Quizno's for goodness sakes! I waltz around the fuckin Cabin and all I see are a bunch of fuckin glory-holes!!! I bet you geniuses any amount of money on the fuckin planet, that Claudia's snatch tastes like a gallon of fuckin margarita mix! This hot box of rocks might as well have candy corn coming out of her cunt! I got your fuckin goodie-bag right here, bitch! Just take a look at my crotch! What the fuck do I look like?! Some fuckin swashbuckler?! Forgive me for using my own johnson as a coat rack! It's Uncle PMAC's birthday today, and I'm a little excited!