(2010) **1/2
Newlyweds Harry and Beth charter a boat to drop them off on a remote, uninhabited coral island in the Great Barrier Reef for 10 days. The idyllic setting offers a sweeping vista of the reef, a beautiful beach, and a palm tree covered forest chock full of exotic birds and other wildlife. Things could not be more perfect and the couple spends their first day exploring, swimming, and setting up camp. Falling asleep for a much needed nap the couple awake to find footprints leading from their beach blanket to the forest. After following the footprints and finding nothing Harry concludes that there must be children on the island playing some sort of prank. The ‘pranks’ become increasingly sinister, however, and following the odd discovery of a grave adjacent to a dilapidated shed Beth concludes that they are sharing the island with a malevolent ghost who is hell bent on revenge. Harry dismisses her theory but eventually agrees that they must leave the island. Unfortunately their satellite phone is missing and they have not way to contact their ride.
The Uninhabited has all the ingredients for the type of horror I really love. Sprinkle in an isolated setting, a vengeful ghost, and one hell of a predicament and you’ll have me at ‘hello’. Sadly the film is derailed by characters that make stupid decision after stupid decision. For example, after a particularly unsettling scene, which would make any of immediately call for a ride off the island, Beth suggests doing so (good decision) but Harry talks her out of it saying that they can make a “game out of it” and they should stay (bad decision). They often split-up (bad decision), explore the forest and shed at night after hearing murderous screams (bad decision), always leave their satellite phone and other vital equipment on the beach as they explore (bad decision), fail to bring any sort of weapon with them for their 10 day trip (bad decision), sleep at night in their tent even after it has been established that something terrifying is happening (bad decision), etc.
Other complaints include Harry’s denial that they are being haunted despite overwhelming evidence, ghosts that look just like regular people, a lack of believable chemistry between the newlyweds, and just plain bad acting.
Normal people would (a) use their satellite phone at the first sign of trouble (b) remain on the beach out in the open while waiting for their ride (c) take turns sleeping, (d) never sleep at night, (e) keep their satellite phone glued to their face, etc. It really is a shame because the cinematography is beautiful and the story is engrossing. Skip it.
