Breaking News: Yankees Sign Rafael Soriano!

Leave it to Brian Cashman to sign a completely overrated loser like Rafael Soriano. I'm sorry, Yankees fans, but this guy fuckin sucks more prick than Sasha Grey, and he'll have no chance at succeeding in the Bronx. Soriano has Jack McDowell written all fuckin over him, because the second or third time this jerkoff gets lit up, the Yankees faithful will boo him out of the fuckin building. The media? Gimme a break! They are going to eat this guy alive. I rather have Ricky Fuckin Vaughn setting up Mariano Rivera, than this money-grubbing headcase! Three years and $35 million?!?!?! Are you fucking kidding me, Cashman?!?!?! What the fuck are you fuckin thinking! I don't give a shit if this prick led the AL with 45 fuckin Saves last season! I don't care if he had 100! You know why? He'll never get it done in a big spot! NEVER! Just remember you heard it here first, folks! This guy is nothing but an overrated loser, and it's only a matter of time before he pops off at the mouth, while flipping the crowd the bird on his way to the showers...