I was going to write up the second part of my Harry Potter ride experience, but then this happened…
Saturday morning I was trolling through Kmart (don’t ask) when I spied the above sign. I thought, “Totally Ghoul, could it be?” Yep! The depressing “Back to School” merchandise had been thankfully supplanted by a fresh Halloween display. My pulse quickened as I approached Kmart’s attempt to tempt my Halloween senses.
As I rounded the corner my heart sank in disappointment. It looked like the display was only partially completed and mostly it was just a bunch of crappy candy. I also concluded that it is difficult to get into the Halloween spirit when you’re wearing shorts and standing under the fluorescent lights of an awful department store while Santana’s “Winning” is blaring over the intercom. But then I dug a little deeper to find…
…several aisles of Halloween goodies! There were at least 3 aisles chock-full of all your Halloween needs. What is it about a grouping of plastic jack-o'-lanterns that makes me want to skip through a field of flowers?
A grouping of plastic skulls is almost as cool. Almost.
I was less enthusiastic about these skeletons because I couldn’t determine what they were supposed to be. There is something about putting a skeleton in a Pope dress that makes it less cool. Skeletons are cool on their own, they don’t need any help. I felt embarrassment for those skeletons.
Hell yeah, cheap masks! I would be lying to you if I told you that I didn’t try a few on. They were pretty lame and they kind of smelled. But hey, they’re Halloween masks, Halloween is coming, hooray!
Costumes! Kids are spoiled. When we were kids we had two options, make a costume or buy a terrible vinyl costume with a crappy plastic mask. These department stores have several aisles of costumes, although some of the costumes are pretty awful,
This might be the worst costume I’ve ever seen.
Finally, there was a cornucopia of cheap horror movie dvds and that’s where you all come in - Horrorthon begins in 15 days, gang, woot!
Come to think of it a better sign would be “Back to Ghoul”! Kmart should hire me.
