Loser Du Jour!

We have a winner, folks!!! What do you do when your baseball team is unexpectedly in first place? You go out, booze like a champion, and get arrested for DUI! The latest loser is none other than Cleveland Indians outfielder, Shin-Soo Choo! Woah! Have another fuckin Sake-Bomb, Shin-Soo! The Indians are 19-8, you're their best player, and this is what you decide to do?! Incredible! How about you stick a 24 oz. bottle of Kirin Ichiban up your ass, and then explain yourself, you creep! Better yet, make it a fuckin Sapporo Light, dickless! You need to keep your fuckin weight in check! Perhaps that's why you're only hitting .250 this season, prick!?! Stop hanging out with that cocksuckin lunatic, Tanaka, and put the fuckin sauce down, loserface!!! How many fuckin nights a week do you gotta go to that fuckin hibachi bar?! Unbelievable! When will these guys learn their lesson!? Choo can't even finish his fuckin spicy tuna roll, before he's doing his best Derek Lowe impression! Enough is enough! The 28-year-old Choo was the only American League player last season to hit .300 with at least 20 homers, and 20 stolen bases.