Francisco Liriano Hurls No-Hitter!

In the category of You Can't Make This Shit Up, Minnesota Twins starting pitcher, Francisco Liriano, tossed an improbable No-Hitter last night on the southside of Chicago. The 27-year-old southpaw entered yesterday's game with a 9.13 ERA, and a 1-4 record, as he was hoping to save his spot in Ron Gardenhire's rotation. Well, folks, despite walking six batters, while only whiffing two, I think Liriano's spot is pretty safe and sound. The inept White Sox can't hit the fuckin broad side of a cocksuckin barn these days, let alone a fuckin Cabin! Where's Harold Baines when you need him?! Who could've predicted such an outrageous outcome?!! I might as well give my prick a fuckin indian-burn following this bullshit! Perhaps a wet fuckin willy up my rear-end will do the trick!?!?! Liriano has now lowered his ERA to 6.61, and I'm proud to say I released him from my fantasy baseball team last Thursday, only for him to stick this game right in my face last night! Unbelievable!