Breaking News: Red Sox & Adrian Gonzalez Agree To Extension!

Finally! The Boston Period Sox have come to terms with first-baseman, Adrian Gonzalez, on a mammoth 7-Year $154 Million extension!!! Woahhh! That's a low price!!! The overall $154 million value will land A-Gon's deal into the top 10 of most lucrative contracts ever paid, ranking ninth while barely edging Miguel "Let's Shotgun A Bottle Of Goldschlager" Cabrera! All I know is that Adrian is going to need every penny he can get, because real-estate in Provincetown is at an all-time high!!! Hey, Red Sox?!? The Kansas City Royals called - they want their winning percentage back!!!