Breaking News: Adam Wainwright Injures Elbow*

The news out of Jupiter, Florida isn't good, as the Cardinals have sent 20-game winner, Adam Wainwright, back to St. Louis, in order to have his throwing elbow examined by team doctors. The talented righty pitched to a 2.42 ERA last season, and went 20-11, finishing second in the NL CY-Young voting. Apparently the injury seems to be quite serious, because sources are whispering Tommy John surgery down in Cardinals camp. Honestly? I rather play darts with my fuckin dick than have season-ending elbow surgery! Bullseye! OUCH! I guess I'll have to pay a visit down to Birmingham, and see my old pal! Hey, Dr. James Andrews? My fuckin prick hurts!!!