Tampa Bay Rays Ink Manny Ramirez & Johnny Damon!

Sneaky! The Tampa Bay Rays signed both Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez last night to one-year deals. Damon's pact is for $5.25 million, while Manny "I Don't Use Shampoo" Ramirez signed for a paltry $2 million! Isn't that sort of strange? How the fuck does Damon get more money than Ramirez? Here's the deal, these two pricks have won before, so I expect their veteran presences to have a positive impact on this young Tampa team. Yankees fans ought to be scratching their heads this morning when they see that Ramirez signed the exact same deal with the Rays, as Andruw Jones recently signed with the Bronx Bombers. Although Tampa's pitching staff has taken quite the hit, I believe these two budget moves will improve their offense dramatically. Are you kidding me? Manny doesn't give a shit, the guy simply wants to stick it to Boston 18 times a year! Damon? This jerkoff is now playing for his third AL East team!!! These two creeps were teammates on the Red Sox from 2002-2005.