Good evening from the Cabin! Uncle PMAC will be bringing the unwashed masses extensive coverage of MLB's Hot Stove season, and right now we have breaking news coming out of Philadelphia. The Phillies have re-upped closer, Ryan "Fuck Henry Evans I'm The" Madson, to a 4-Year $44 Million extension to remain their go-to-guy in the ninth inning. WOW!!!!! I'm sorry, folks, but that is a tremendous amount of money for an average closer!!! What the fuck has Ryan Madson ever done, and not to mention, the Phillies get plenty of fuckin length with Doc Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Cole Hamels!!! Do I think this deal is a result of the bogus contract the Yankees bestowed upon that fuckin cocksuckin Curious Fuckin George look-a-like, Rafael Soriano? Well sure it is! The Steinbrenner boys set the fuckin market like the Andrea Fuckin Gail!!!! I might be the biggest prick in the galaxy, but still, I bet you Jonathan Papelbon and Heath "You Can Ring My" Bell are sucking each other off after hearing this news!!! Both of those pricks are better than Madson, so what the fuck are they gonna get, and don't say a handjob with a cherry on top???!!! Gloucester! They're always from fuckin Gloucester!!!!!! I don't give an armadillo's ass if Madson went 4-2 with 32 Saves and a 2.37 ERA! I don't give a fuck if he can wack off without touching his prick! The guy is garbage! Teams are throwing money around like Pacman Jones at the Bada Fuckin Bing for goodness sakes! Who does this guy think he is?!? Vinny Chase?! I am Prick Cabin!
In other news, the Cardinals have interviewed Terry Francona, while the Red Sox are having discussions about adding Carlos Beltran to their outfield in order to replace free agent J.D. "Triple-A" Drew! Stay tuned to the Cabin for your Hot Stove fix! Short stack, short stack, short stack, coming up!!!!
