Breaking News: Kim & Kris Heading To Splitsville!!!!!

WOW! Who didn't smell this one coming from miles upon miles and miles away!?! According to numerous reports, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her duechebag husband - Kris Humphries!!!!! Unbelievable! What an embarrassment these two geniuses are, huh?!?! 72 days, folks!!!!! I have jerkoff sessions that last longer than that!!! Talk about two stone-cold losers!!! Unbelievable! Come on over to the Cabin, Kimmy!!! I'll eat cheesefries out of your tush, and wash it all down with a fuckin frosty from your box! This is just beyond a complete and utter embarrassment!!!! I hate to sound shocked by this, because I'm not, but geez Louise, give me a cocksuckin break, will ya!?! Break me off a piece of that Kim-Kris bar!!!!! The Cabin is like Denzel Washington co-starring Chris Pine - Unstoppable!!!!! Uncle PMAC and the unwashed masses are the complete opposite of these two fuckin phonies!!! Kris doesn't just have egg on his face, he has the whole fuckin omelette, baby!!! You can't make this up, it's just so fuckin pathetic, it's incredible. There's one divorce for Kim, and Prick Cabin has just phoned into our pal Steve Wynn, as we've set the O/U at 50 for the number of marriages she will have from here on out!!!!! Lock it up and take the Over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIT ON MY FACE, KIM!!! Let me smell that fat fanny!!!!!