Morning Tush!

 Good morning on a rainy Thursday in the TriState, and welcome to another edition of Morning Tush! I highly recommend you get the Australian Gold out for this broad, because you're going to want to pull your pork until it looks like something out of Ms. Piggy's closet! Lauren Elise doesn't play games, folks, she fucks, and she does it well. What the fuck do I know, though? I'm so horny I have wet dreams when I'm awake! I'm in the mood for some scrambled eggs and rye toast, so allow me to rub my balls in bacon grease, and spray my prick with PAM, before I nosedive into this box! I hope she has a rearview mirror attached to her clit, because I plan on poking this broad from all fuckin angles! I'll skip the fuckin pancakes today, Lauren, unless you feel like putting them on a separate dish, because the last fuckin thing I want to happen is syrup getting on my eggs! Who the hell likes that shit anyway?! Log Cabin is a rival of mine, I have sexual relations with Aunt Jemima, and that psycho Mrs. Butterworth is stalking me! I'm stuck in a moral fuckin quandary with nowhere to hide!