NBA Cancels First Two Weeks Of 2011-2012 Season!

If you didn't smell this coming from a mile away, then you must live in fuckin Oshkosh! The NBA has officially cancelled the first two weeks of the 2011-2012 season, and it doesn't look like they will be playing anytime soon, as no future talks have been planned. According to David Stern, the two sides are, "very far apart on all issues." Honestly? The worst part about this lockout is that we'll be subjected to non-stop jib-jab from that annoying cocksucker, Chris Broussard, on ESPN. I rather wake up to nails on a chalkboard every morning, than have to hear this fuckin weasel's voice! Who the fuck does he think he is, anyway? Jack Fuckin Byrnes?! "If there's no deal and we start losing games," one owner predicted last year, "then we're going to hold out until the players surrender, and we'll wind up getting everything we want." Is that unbelievable or what? These fuckin NBA players are going to be broke by mid-November, because they're too busy throwing their money away on trash! Once again, Prick Cabin predicts ZERO games prior to Valentine's Day 2012. Take it to the fuckin bank! If I'm wrong, then I'll move into a fuckin doghouse, and do nothing but stick XXL Chalupas up my ass for as long as I live! Fuck the Cabin!