Rangers & Cardinals Take Control!

Good morning on a very wet and soggy Thursday from the TriState! The Texas Rangers and St. Louis Cardinals are taking care of business like they are sponsored by those cocksuckers from fuckin Office Max in their respective League Championship Series!' Neslon Cruz continues to carry the Rangers with his lumber, while the Cardinals are beating the Brewers with superior pitching and defense. Texas has taken a commanding 3-1 ALCS lead over Detroit, with a 7-3 11-inning victory last night, while St. Louis leads the NLCS, 2-1, over Milwaukee, as they defeated the BrewCrew, 4-3. Both series will be back in action later on this afternoon. Prick Cabin expects Justin Verlander to keep the Tigers alive, and I also happen to believe that the Brewers will bounce back to knot the Cardinals at two games apiece. The Cabin will be watching these games later, but then again, what the fuck do I know? I used to bring in a fuckin Penthouse for show & tell when I was in Kindergarten! How could I ever sit Indian-style when my p-shooter is rock hard at the age of 5?! I'm the same guy who would bring $40 Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirts into class when I was in seventh grade, and sell 'em for $5 to whoever wanted one! What did I need the money for? I wanted to buy fuckin sports cards, so I didn't have to steal them from other kids during lunch period! Whattya fuckin need? A Rusty bathing suit?! A Mossimo chain wallet?! I'm the fuckin prick to see!!! You need a fuckin sundae or Hood strawberry shortcake ice-cream bar?! I'll fuckin steal it when the lunchlady is looking the other way, and tell her I thought I dropped my money in the fuckin freezer if I got caught! What the fuck are they going to do?! Arrest a fuckin 11-year old?! I'm not trying to play hero, ok? Fuckin forgive me, folks, I left my cape at the dry cleaners!