Diamondbacks Avoid NLDS Sweep!

The Arizona Diamondbacks are on the postseason board! Rookie Paul Goldschmidt delivered a mammoth grand slam to power the NL West champs to their first win of the series, 8-1, as they now trail the Brewers 2-1, going into tonight's decisive Game 4, when Joe Saunders will take on Randy "Teen" Wolf at 9:37PM eastern. The Brewers continue to display a propensity for not being a dependable road team this season, although they are excellent at home. Speaking of Miller Park, I guess Bernie The Brewer is gearing up for what could be a real fun night for him on Friday, when Milwaukee will have a chance to win it on their home turf. Could you imagine? Bernie The Brewer texted me last night that he will piss and jizz all over the slide in left-center field before he goes down it! Woah!!! Dive head first, you prick! Now that's a waterpark!! Perhaps he should go down in a fuckin tube, instead?! Meanwhile, the pool at Chase Field in Phoenix was infested with used condoms last night! Ryan Braun could barely focus out there, when he's turning around and an orgy breaks out! What a fuckfest in the desert!