Still No Deal For Chris Johnson*

Running back, Chris "Play With My" Johnson, met with Tennessee Titans brass yesterday, but the two sides were still unable to reach an agreement on a new contract for the talented ball-carrier. Johnson wants big fuckin bucks, folks! He wants to get paid, and he needs that money now! According to Johnson, he flew home to Orlando after the meeting, so he could play Pin The Tail On The Prick with the sharpest darts you could ever fuckin find! Ouch! Does this guy need a new deal or what?! The running back leads the NFL in yards rushing over the past three seasons and has said he wants at least $30 million in guaranteed money! Hey, can you blame the prick? To each his own I guess! Some people like money, and guys like me enjoy bringing props to work. I'm not kidding, folks, I brought a bunch of woopie cushions in today! The first 10,000 guests at the Cabin 14 and under, will get a free box of snaps!!! Come one, come all! Let's have a motherfuckin ball! I feel like Jeffrey The Fuckin Giraffe this morning! Let's get it going on a twat-filled Thursday!!!!! Give my pants a hem, and lick my motherfuckin stem!