Breaking News: Derek Jeter & Minka Kelly Call It Quits!

In an interesting development, Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have headed to Splitsville, according to People.com. The last time I checked, Minka was sucking the Captain off in mid-July when he reached the 3,000 hit plateau, but I guess her puss has turned sour ever since. Honestly? We shouldn't be wondering why Jeter has hit .350 over the past month and half, because he clearly just wanted to be a single prick again! Congrats, and happy hunting to the future 1st-ballot Hall of Fame shortstop! They don't pay rent, do they!?! Minka Kelly's twat? Ha! I spent a week there one night!