Breaking News: Kerry "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" Collins Inks Deal With Colts!

In an interesting development, 38-year-old Kerry Collins, will be backing up Peyton Manning in Indianapolis this season, and he's most likely going to be their opening-day starter, because Manning is still recovering from offseason neck surgery. Collins retired in July after 16 seasons in the NFL, but how could he turn down a chance at playing for a perennial winner in Indy? I know I wouldn't be able to say no to this type of opportunity, but hey, what the fuck do I know, right? I'm the same guy who thinks the epicenter of yesterday's earthquake was in my fuckin underpants! This is Prickileaks, not fuckin profootballtalk.com! Come on, folks! I don't play lotto or Mega-Millions or Powerball, so all of you need to relax! I'm a normal guy who goes to work every day just like all of you. Sit tight, Kerry, and remember - lay off the fuckin Zimas!