New York Jets Ink Antonio Cromartie!

Good morning, folks!!! Welcome fuckin back to the Cabin that never sleeps, as Uncle PMAC has returned from a sun and fun-filled week down the Jersey Shore! The New York Jets have come to terms with Antonio "Are You My Kid Also?" Cromartie on a 4-year $32 million contract, with $20 million guaranteed!!! Woah! That's a lot of child support!!! Cromartie ought to rip a page out of my pop-up book, and start wearing some burlap condoms!!! Gang Green continues to make moves, as they've now inked Plaxico "No Practico" Burress and Father Cromartie in a span of 24 hours! Then again, what the fuck do I know?! I play putt-putt golf with my prick, and wonder why I get escorted off the boardwalk in a pair of fuckin handcuffs! Now let's fuckin go! Prick Cabin is back, and I got a lot of shit I need to get off my chest!!!