Breaking News: Jim Thome Heading Back To Tribe!

The Cleveland Indians have acquired old fuck-friend, Jim Thome, via a waiver-claims trade with the Minnesota Twins. Thome will be packing his fuckin Samsonite tonight, and heading directly to the Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame, so he can jizz all over the walls, and crap all over the carpets! Who cares about 600 homers, when all you fuckin need is some fuckin Woolite?!?! I'm sitting here at the cocksuckin Cabin, and the place smells like a fuckin fish market, but guess what?! It's really just the smell of snatch! Thome spent 12 seasons with Cleveland from 1991-2002, hitting a team-record 334 homers and helping the Indians get to two World Series. He hit 52 in his final season before signing as a free agent with Philadelphia. Jimmy also waived his no-trade clause, in order for the deal to go through.