2011 British Open Preview!

Good evening from the headquarters of The Cabin, where every room feels like an absolute fuckin meat locker in order to keep my prick nice and fresh! Here we are on another steamy mid-summer night, while we get set to rest our hips on the eve of the 140th British Open being held at Royal St. George's. Quirky course conditions, and harsh winds abound for what should be an absolutely thrilling tournament! Can you feel it, folks? The anticipation and drama is starting to build in the bowels of the best golfers on the planet, and I'm sitting in the Cabin elevator on free WiFi, getting wacked off by one of my maids! World-ranked #1, Luke "Don't You Dare Fuckin Call Me Darkwing, I'm That Cocksucker" Donald, is feeling a lot of pressure to deliver his first major championship, while Rory "I'll Be Your Mother's Boy-Toy" McIlroy is the odds-on favorite to win his second consecutive major, as the gem of Northern Island finished tied for third in last year's tourney. Now I'm sure you're asking yourself, 'Who does Uncle PMAC think will win?' Well, genius, my pick is 38-year-old, Lee "Sit On My Compass & Go" Westwood, because this jerkoff has been knocking on the door longer than me at the Oriental Fuckin Spa on a Sunday morning, and I believe he's poised to win his first major on his home soil here in England. Hmm, speaking of Oriental, I guess we would be foolish to count out K.J. "I Hate The Duck Sauce, I Only Wash My Balls In Soy" Choi, because this crafty veteran has been playing the best golf of his career this season. I expect very little from Phil "Tickle My Pickle" Mickelson across the pond, while Tiger "The Horndog With An STD-Infested Corndog" Woods will be pulling his prick all weekend long ala Kevin McCallister when his parents are out of town! Prick Cabin plans on keeping the doors open through the night and into the morning, as I'll be covering the Open live from the aerobed, with loads and loads of smut, while jamming 5-Hour Energy's right up my rump! So get ready, fucko, it's Tee-Time at Prick Cabin!!!