What a show! What a fuckin performance! Rory "I'll Be Your Boy-Toy" McIlroy is your 2011 U.S. Open Champion! The 22-year-old from Northern Ireland put on quite the exhibition this weekend at Congressional, as he became the youngest U.S. Open winner since Bobby Jones back in 1923! McIlroy also set a U.S. Open record for most strokes under par. Tiger "Horndog" Woods had set the previous mark in 2000 at Pebble Beach, when he finished -12, and jammed a rubber chicken up his fanny, while kissing the trophy! What a disgusting prick, but I guess it takes one to know one, right?! I guess I'm a little too fired up to play capture the fuckin flag with a dildo this afternoon, because I'm a horndog also! I do know one thing, folks, Rory was definitely getting his weasel greased last night, and he was enjoying ever fuckin second of it!
"I think he has probably the most talent I've ever seen from a golfer," said world No. 1 Luke Donald. "Nothing this kid does ever surprises me," said 2010 U.S. Open champion Graeme McDowell. "He's the best player I've ever seen." "This day was inevitable," said Edoardo Molinari. "He's going to be the first Rory, not the next Tiger," Miguel Angel Jimenez said as he left the club shortly before McIlroy teed off. "Tiger was Tiger. Nicklaus was Nicklaus. Palmer was Palmer. Rory is spontaneous, he's happy with his life, and he's going to rule the game of golf."
How about those quotes?!? That's some serious praise coming from some talented golfers right there, huh? Good for fuckin Rory, because even he knows, - Every Season Starts At Pricks!!!! Congratulations from Prick Cabin!
