Chris Bosh's Bachelor Party Blues!

Well, folks, Chris "Jurassic Park" Bosh spent this past weekend in Las Vegas with a bunch of his loser friends to celebrate his bachelor party. Guess who didn't show up to the four-day dickfest? Dwyane Wade and LeFag James!!! How does that taste, Bosh!?! When those creeps won't even go to your fuckin bachelor party in Vegas, then how the fuck do you ever expect to get a pass in crunchtime? The fact of the matter is this, Uncle PMAC can't blame those clowns for passing on your potty party! I think I rather go to a picnic at Adam Fuckin Lambert's house, than hang out with this cocksuckin freak! Talk about a sausage festival! The Chippendales called - they want their fuckin thongs back!!! So what NBA players were at this soiree? Try Jarrett Jack and Pops Mensah-Bonsu on for size!!!! Woah! The only guy missing from that crew is Neil Patrick-Harris! Apparently these jerkoffs were playing paintball, and sucking off Chris Angel for three days straight!!!! The only thing missing from that fuckin party is a six-pack of Pepsi! Wow! The worst part about this whole fuckin circus, is that Bosh dubbed the weekend, "The Hangover 3." I think I'm gonna puke all over my Happy Meal now...