Breaking News: Uncle Mo Scratched From 137th Kentucky Derby!

Where's Mr. Ed when you need him!?! Uncle Mo has been scratched from the field of 20 for tomorrow's Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. What a fuckin shame, because this colt is hung just like me! Who's ever seen a horse with a tripod between it's legs!? This is disappointing news, folks, because Uncle Mo was poised to win this race as the 4-2 favorite. Apparently the horse came down with a stomach ailment, and simply can't recover quickly enough to be ready to run. Somewhere, SeaBiscuit is laughing his fuckin cock off!