The gates will open at 6:24PM Eastern, and the 137th Run for the Roses will be underway once again at Churchill Downs. The scent of clit-juleps will fill the air, as bonnets are filled with pubic hair! What a sight it shall be, when Nick Zito does his victory dance, if only because I happen to have a Mucho Macho Man in my fuckin underpants! This evening will feature a wide open field, on the first weekend of May, when even the pricks come out to play! Dialed-In seems to be the favorite going in at 4-1, but this pony will faulter, while Pants On Fire gets it done! Correct, folks! The pick of the Kentucky Derby is Pants On Fire at 20-1! Lock it the fuck up on a big Prick Cabin Sports Saturday, and don't tell any of your friends about it! If those clowns tell you they like Derby Kitten, then tell 'em you ain't kidding! If those pricks tell you they believe in Twice The Appeal, then tell 'em their moms' tits aren't real! The Most Exciting Two Minutes In Sports is just an hour and twenty-four minutes away! Pants On Fire is the Prick (20-1)!!!
