Prick Cabin Sports Friday!

 Good morning on a beautiful Sports Fuckin Friday at Prick Cabin!!! TGIPCSF!!!! Thank God It's Prick Cabin Sports Friday, or else I'd put my prick under the fuckin lawnmower, and call it a day!!! How about those 0-6 Boston Red Sox, folks!?!?! The Bosox will welcome the New York Yankees into Fenway this afternoon for their home opener, as they will look to finally get in the 2011 win column! Phil Hughes and his 11.25 ERA will oppose John Lackey and his 22.09 ERA at 2PM today! Are these pitchers on their respective periods or something?! Those are some bloated numbers!!! Call Frank Costello or Billy Costigan! These pricks need some cranberry juice!

Who's ready for more Masters coverage? I know I fuckin am!!! I couldn't care less, I'm ditching the Cabin today, so I can caddy for my boy Y.E. Yang! Yang stroked a -5, 68, yesterday, and he wants me to carry his fuckin bag today! I can't wait for this prick to ask me for his fuckin 7-iron! I'll hand him a fuckin chopstick, and tell him to be happy! How do you like that, Y.E.?!?! Oh? You need another ball? Think fast! Boom! Fortune cookie right to the face!!! Now get me a cheeseburger at the fuckin turn, because I need to pull my fuckin putter in the little boy's room! Rory McIlroy and Alvaro Quiros are currently tied atop the leaderboard, as both gentlemen carded -7, 65's.

So let's get juiced up, folks! The weekend abounds with storylines so juicy, they'll make you pitch a tent around the office all day long! How do you like this, secretary?!?! How about you give me a handjob, and then I'll just slam the fuckin door on your face! I rather fuck the fuckin bulletin board, than stick my footlong in your buns! Prick Cabin! Don't leave home without it!!!!