Loser Du Jour!

Just when I thought I was out.....They pull me back in!!!! Cincinnati Reds pitcher, Mike "I Gotta Take A" Leake was arrested yesterday at Macy's in downtown Cincy for fucking shoplifting!!! Are you kidding me, pal? I suggest they lock Leake up at Oz, and throw away the fuckin key!!! What was this prick thinking!?! What kind of loser who's making $425 grand a year, thinks stealing six shirts for a total of $59.88 is a good idea!?!?! What a cocksuckin' loser!!! The 23-year-old starter was booked at the Hamilton County Justice Center, and was later released on bail, but he was forced to miss pitcher's batting practice at the Great American Ballpark in the process! Sweet five-finger discount, Mike! Who taught you how to remove price tags from shirts, and try to walk out of the store without paying for them? Dusty Baker?!?!?! My goodness! Were those shirts on fuckin clearance?? I'm surprised you didn't just put them on fuckin layaway while you were at it! Wow! I rather play capture the fuckin flag by myself, than be caught stealing American Rag T-shirts!!!! I'll travel down to Middleburg, Virginia, head over to the Red Fox Tavern, fuck a crabcake, and soak my beanbag in some hot lobster dip, before I try to steal six shirts for $60 bucks! Get a fuckin life, you loser!!! Kick him out of the league, Selig!!! Enough is enough! Let's go on a Prick Cabin Tuesday!!!