2011 Masters Recap!

Charl who? Seriously? Your guess is as good as mine, folks! Welcome back to Prick Cabin on a balmy Monday in the Tri-State, and congratulations to Charl "Suck My Fuckin" Schwartzel on winning his first ever Green Jacket, as he becomes the second South African in less than a year to win a major, after Louis Oosthuizen won the 2010 British Open. Who does this guy think he is? Roy Fuckin McAvoy? Bagger Vance? Shankafuckinpotamus? Who gives a shit, right? I wanted to see a fuckin 6-way playoff yesterday! Everyone was -10! It was an orgy atop the leaderboard, and Tiger Woods was the director!!! The horndog shot a 31 on the front, but couldn't make enough putts on the back to get him over the hump! Go figure? What the fuck happened to Rory McIlroy? The 21-year-old from Northern Ireland had the worst collapse ever for a 54-hole leader in Masters history yesterday, as the youngster carded a +8, 80!!! Yikes! We'll take it easy on the prick, because he'll undoubtedly have plenty more Sundays at Augusta National, and it's only a matter of time before he seals the deal. All in all, you couldn't ask for too much more yesterday, except for maybe Jason Day's wife flashing her tits at the cameras!!! Show your tits! Show your tits! Show your tits!!! Ellie Day! Ellie Day! Ellie Day!!! Show your twat! Oh what the fuck do I fuckin know, though? I hear a fuckin symphony every time the microwave dings! Charl Schwartzel, huh? This jerkoff is about as cool as Bud Fuckin Bundy! Enough already!!!!