Breaking News: NFL Lockout Looming*

The NFL and Players Union agreed to a seven-day extension last Friday, and that extension is set to expire at midnight, as the two sides are seeming less and less likely to come to an agreement. Can you believe this shit? How many lemon meringue pies can you stick your dick in, before you have to clean yourself off? Isn't there enough money to go around to keep everybody happy? Apparently there isn't, because negotiations have taken a turn for the worse this week, and it's beginning to look like the start of a long lockout. If it were up to me, then I'd just kick Roger Goodell's ass, and call it a fuckin love story! DeMaurice Smith? This guy is about as cool as the fuckin Sci-Fi channel! Seriously, this prick's favorite fuckin porno is Species! Look at his hat, do you really think this guy isn't a virgin? What a fuckin mess! Enough is enough already! Get ready, folks, because football on the horizon looks rather bleak right now. Then again, I might be as clueless as that twat Cher Horowitz! I never have fun! I chug pina coladas just to get a fuckin brain freeze!!!