Carmelo Anthony Will Be A New Jersey Net!!!

You heard it here first, folks. I guaranfuckintee that Carmelo Anthony will be a member of the New Jersey Nets at any moment now. No question about it! No fuckin doubt about it!!! The Nuggets are looking to acquire Devin Harris, Derrick Favors, Troy Murphy, Ben Uzoh, and wait for it......FOUR 1st-Round Draft Picks!!!! What do the Nets get? They reel in Carmelo Anthony (an elite player in the middle of his prime), Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Melvin Ely, and Renaldo "Stoned 24/7" Balkman. The framework is in place, and the New Jersey Nets remain aggressive in their pursuit. The Knicks? Nobody cares what those fuckin losers do! Seriously, the only player they have on their fuckin radar is Air Bud!!! Carmelo is slated to meet with Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov over the weekend in Los Angeles, so don't be shocked when you hear the deal has been made. Carmelo to the Nets, and you heard it here first on a Prick Cabin Friday...