NBA All-Star Game Lock!

The NBA All-Star game is tonight at the Staples Center, and I'm here to offer some special insight on the matchup! Judging by the rack of lamb I just ate, I'm going to go out on a limb, and lock up the West (+1). What else do you pricks want for me? I'm about as hung over as it gets, and it's a Sunday fuckin night in mid-February! I can't hold your hands every day, and I'm not a fuckin babysitter! My cape is at the fuckin dry cleaners, so you'll have to get the fuck over it!!! Lucky for us, TNT thinks it's a great idea to have an hour and half pregame show! This is an exhibition game for goodness sakes!! Enough is enough! Someone get Charles Barkely a fuckin Lipitor, and tell him to call it a night! The stars will be out in Los Angeles, while the lights will be out at the Cabin! I'm inviting over every tramp I know, and I don't plan on going to bed until Friday! Now fetch me a pound of oysters, and let's get this party started!!! Tinsletown, huh? I spent a week there one night!!! You didn't expect me to pick a bunch of Heat and Celtics players, did you? The West (+1) Is The Prick! Lock it up!!!!!!