Chowder Du Jour!

Good afternoon, folks! Please meet the special bread-bowl of the day, Ms. Lily Aldridge! This gal is a nice clear cunt broth, with meat tortellini! Incredible! Tortellini en pricko!!! Hey, Chowderface?! Have you heard of King Tut? Well, you're Clit Fuckin Tut!!! I apologize for a slow Friday at the Cabin, but I can't help it when my microwave is fucked up! I'm not a mechanic, I'm a fuckin prick! Seriously, I'm not afraid of being a jerkoff. I know you guys don't want to hear this, but I truly think that being nice is extremely overrated. I'm done fuckin being some schlub who pretends everything is alright! I'm done using my fuckin blinker when I'm about to make a turn, too! What the fuck!?! Nobody else uses theirs, so why should I drive like a human being, when everyone else drives like a fuckin asshole?! I'm tired of abiding by the rules! Laws are for losers!!! I'll evict myself right outta Prick Cabin, and into the fuckin Prick Locker! I'll just get the same tattoo all over my face! I'll write Tall Glass Of Fiji on my forehead, both cheeks, down my nose, and up my fuckin ass!!! I'm tired of it! What the fuck is this soup, Lily!?! Can't I get a simple fuckin cup of the Italian Wedding or Minestrone?!?! You're fuckin fired, now slurp down my special of the day - BEEF FUCKIN COCKSUCKIN BARLEY! Mmmmmmmm Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Good!!!