Breaking News: Matt Garza Traded To Chicago Cubs!!!

The Tampa Bay Rays have traded Matt Garza to the Chicago Cubs in exchange for SP Chris Archer, OF Brandon Guyer, C Robinson Chirinos, SS Hak-Ju Lee, and OF Sam Fuld. Prick Cabin expects the former Fresno State Bulldog to dominate the weak-hitting National League. You can take that to the fuckin bank! And then you can get kicked out of the bank like I did this morning, when I was cursing out the fuckin bank teller!!! Give me my fuckin money, you loser!!! How fuckin long does it take to cash a fuckin check!?! I'm the only fuckin prick in line!!!! Stop moving like a fuckin snail, and give me some cocksuckin service! I shouted "Fuck You" about as loud as I possibly could at this idiot! Sionara!!!