MLB Winter Meetings Heating Up!

Keep your hands off the stove, and your breadstick in the oven, because things are getting mighty interesting down in Orlando! Carlos Beltran is being shopped to the Red Sox, and the Cliff Lee rumors are becoming eerily similar to Kirstie Alley - HOT & HEAVY!!! Look who's barking now, bitch! Who's fuckin walkin' who!?!?! Apparently there are two teams that have offered Cliff Lee a seventh year, and this has been confirmed with Prick Cabin's own, Jon Heyman. The Yankees aren't one of those teams, as they are preparing an offer of six years for between $23-$25 million per year. Carl Crawford is on the Angels wish list, along with closer, Rafael Soriano, and third baseman, Adrian Beltre. Who's got the Stove-Top!?!?! I'm not big on speculation, but I'll insert my junk into a bowl of simmering zucchini soup if I have to! How about Uncle Pauly Konerko?!?! This prick just re-signed with the White Sox for another three years and $37 million!!! How many fuckin deep dishes can this guy eat! Stay tuned for Hot Stove updates all day long at Prick Fuckin Cabin! The only log-cabin with free fuckin WiFi!!!