Bears Send Purple-Pussy Eaters Into Hibernation!

The Chicago Bears clinched their third NFC North Title in the past six seasons, and they did it in convincing fashion with a 40-14 romper-room victory over the Minnesota Vikings. The Monsters of the Midway knocked Brett "The Pervert" Favre out early, and then buried Joe "My Dick Is Webbed" Webb! No shocker there, even my prick has gills! I have ten wet dreams a fuckin night! I'm only allowed to get laid when I'm in the ocean or pools! Fuck lakes, you couldn't pay me to jump in one of those fuckin things! I rather watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice on fuckin repeat! I'll stick a fuckin Nickleback cd up my tiny tuccus, before I ever swing on some cocksuckin rope into a lake! Where the fuck am I? America or Narnia?!?! Devin Hester made an absolute mockery of the Vikings defense last night, and Jay Cutler bounced back from a putrid performance against the Patriots. The game was played at TCF Bank Stadium on campus at the University of Minnesota, which is just a mere two miles from the broken down piece of junk known as the Metrodome. Seriously, I think there are landfills better suited to host a football game, than that trash building! Enough is enough! Thanks for coming out, Vikings! Sionara Little Brett! Bears Win!