Red Sox Ink Bobby Jenks*

The Boston Red Sox remain busy this offseason, as they've now come to terms on a contract with former White Sox closer, Bobby "I Have Lice In My Fu-Manchu" Jenks, for two years and $12 million! The price of property is at an all-time high in Provincetown!!! Buy land, baby! God isn't making any more of it!!! What does this mean for Jonathan Papelprick? I say the Sawx send this prick to Pawtucket, and call it a love story!