Stan "Ron Jeremy Loves Mock Turtlenecks Too" Van Gundy, stuck his drumstick right up Phil Jackson's two-hole, calling his comments regarding the Heat to be 'inappropriate' and 'ignorant.' Let's be honest, folks, it's no secret Eric Spoelstra is looking in his rearview mirror like he's Ben Fuckin Affleck. Pat Riley is Lefag's choice, but Dwyane Wade doesn't want the Hall-of-Fame coach to take the reigns. Should Jackson have made these remarks publicly? Probably not, and all he even said was, 'could be the Van Gundy thing all over again.' I happen to like both of these individuals, so maybe I'll just invite them over to my grandmother's house tomorrow, for what figures to be quite the feast. Me? I bring my own fuckin turkey to the party, and I baste it in nothing but cracked pepper and pussy juice. That's right, I'm the only fuckin prick who has a turkey that tastes like steamers! Who knows, maybe I'll stuff the fuckin turkey with some special herbs too!
