Adrian Beltre To The Oakland A's?

The Hot Stove is heating up! The Oakland A's have offered Adrian Beltre a 5-year $64 million deal! Woahhhhhh! That's a high price!!! I'd throw my dick on a piping hot hibachi stove, before I'd ever offer this fuckin loser that much cash! What do I know though? I'm just excited because it's 1/2 off Thursdays at the tanning salon! Don't forget to wear your glasses!