Breaking News: Jose Reyes Lands On 15-Day DL!

In an extremely predictable development, the New York Mets' Jose Reyes has been placed on the 15-Day DL with a strained hamstring. Shocker! When was the last time this fuckin jerkoff played a full season? Seriously? The guy is a leg injury waiting to happen, and if any of you are familiar with the Mets crack-medical staff, then you'll be fortunate to see their overrated shortstop again prior to Labor Day! I'm not kidding, folks. The Mets will diagnose a player with a concussion, when he really has a torn plantar-fascia in his fuckin prick! Ewwww! What a typical disgusting display! Hey, what the fuck else do you expect when your team doctor is Doogie Howser?!