Breaking News: Plaxico Burress Is Free!

Plaxico "No Practico" Burress was released from Oneida Correctional Facility in upstate Rome,NY this morning at 9AM. The lanky receiver strolled out of prison with his middle fingers up, after 20 long months, while donning a Philadelphia Phillies cap, and black sunglasses. Could this be a foreshadowing of where Plaxico will wind up? Who knows? I'm not a fuckin swami, but I did stay at a Prick Cabin Express last night!!! The Eagles, Rams, and Jets have all been rumored to be in the market for the 33-year-old former Super Bowl champion, but the Giants will look the other way. Plaxico will turn 34 in August, and plans on celebrating his birthday at the Latin Quarter nightclub in midtown Manhattan with plenty of his close friends and family! Woah! If I had to bet on where Plaxico will end up, then I'd put my money on the Miami Dolphins. Why? Plaxico has a home in nearby Fort Lauderdale, loves Cuban sandwiches, and he could team up with another jackass in Brandon Marshall. I guess we'll all have to wait and see where this genius decides to play...