Loser Du Jour!

Hey, Matt! You're fuckin out! Rihanna has kicked LA Dodgers outfielder, Matt Kemp, to the fuckin curb! What's my name now, loser!?!?! Apparently Rihanna had grown dissatisfied with their long-distance relationship, and the diminutive size of Kemp's prick! How about that! Who knew this guy had a prick smaller than that resourceful 8-year old Kevin McCallister! When you're getting dumped by a girl who has shorter hair than you do, then there's obviously a fuckin problem! The Barbados native has been traveling the world promoting her new album "Loud," and Kemp has been her little puppy-dog! A real fuckin bijon, if you will! Either way, this relationship is over, and Matt better understand that Rihanna isn't the only girl in the world, or else it'll be slump city for the 26-year old outfielder! I'll say the same fuckin thing to Kemp that I say  to insects I flush down the toilet - Later, Loser!!!