Miami Marlins To Introduce New Manager Today!

Ready...Set...SUCK! The newly named Miami Marlins are holding a press conference this afternoon, and they will be introducing Ozzie Guillen as their new manager! "All the pieces are coming together," slugger Mike Stanton said. "We got the stadium, and we got the manager." Guillen worked for owner Jeffrey Loria as Jack McKeon's third base coach with the Marlins' 2003 World Series championship team, and he now finds himself at the helm of a franchise in desperate need of a true leader. How do you like this, Marlins fans! Yes, I'm talking to all three-hundred of you!!!! Prick Cabin supports Ozzie Guillen and his filthy fuckin language! If I wasn't such a jerkoff, then I'd wash my own mouth out with a gallon of Tide! I couldn't care less, I'll walk around my office blowing fuckin soap bubbles, the way you cocksuckers try to produce bubbles from a stick of fuckin Trident! I'll do the downward-facing-dog with my fuckin underpants pulled down right in front of my secretary, and then ask the bitch if she wants a slice of pizza for lunch! Enough is enough! Who the fuck does Ozzie Guillen think he is, anyway? The Lawnmower Man???