Chris Johnson Continues Holdout!

Sorry, Tennessee Titans fans, but Chris "Don't Call Me Magic" Johnson will not be reporting to camp anytime soon! The All-Pro runningback wants to get paid! The new CBA rules stipulate that if holdouts don’t show up by August 9 they would lose a year of accrued free agency, but Johnson obviously has better things do. The superstar runningback clearly doesn't give a shit about getting fined, or losing a year of free agency, so this leads me to believe that he will show up once he gets a new contract. Let's not kid ourselves here, folks, Johnson is only set to make $800K this year! Who needs fuckin chump change, when you can break the fuckin bank like the Not Fuckin Around Crew does!?! Who wants to go to camp, anyway?! I hated fuckin camp when I was younger! I'd flick off the fuckin lifeguards, and steal all the girls' bathing-suit bottoms, so they'd be running around the pool with their little pussies popping out! I was only 10 years old, and I fucked my counselor! The bitch was 26 for Christ sakes!!!!!!! I would hide behind bushes on purpose, just so I could get picked last! I don't give a fuck! All I needed was a boom-box in one hand, and an Easy-Bake Oven in the other! I wiped my fuckin ass with Capture The Flag, and jerked off in the soccer goals! Who needs this kind of shit in their life?! Playmate Coolers and Coleman water jugs!?! I don't want to carry all that crap! I swear to God, going to camp is similar to a fuckin textiles sweatshop in Thailand! AWFUL!!! In the words of the great Rod Tidwell - SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!