It's A Prick! It's A Plane! Nope, It's The Miami Hurricanes!

The 2011 College Football season is rapidly approaching, and the Miami Hurricanes are currently in the middle of a major NCAA investigation, as they are facing extremely damaging accusations and violations. Nevin Shapiro, a former booster and convicted Ponzi schemer who claimed he treated players with sex parties, nightclub outings, cars and other gifts, is under heavy scrutiny, and has turned canary on "The U." Well guess fuckin what, folks!? Prick Cabin supports the college athletes, so I will put myself on the stand in order to defend the pricks from Coral Gables! I don't give a fuck what Nevin Shapiro says! How do you trust a guy that needs LoJack just to find his fuckin dick!?! Shapiro was sentenced in June to 20 years in prison for masterminding a $930 million Ponzi scheme, plus ordered to pay more than $82 million in restitution to investors. What fuckin gives?! This jerkoff is trying to save his own fuckin fanny! I rather suck off Captain Fuckin Ahab, than listen to this prick! Do you fucks think I'm joking? This is some serious fuckin shit! These allegations should be taken with a grain of salt! I'll slice off my needledick, and feed it to fuckin Dumbo, before I listen to this liar! Who the fuck does this guy think he is!? Lloyd Fuckin Christmas?! I rather let the Wet Fuckin Bandits babysit my kids, than put an ounce of stock (no pun intended) in this flamer's story! Seriously, this cocksucker tells more tall-tales than Paul "The Pussy" Bunyan! Look at this little fuckin shrimp!!! Someone stop the fuckin madness!!!