Miami Takes Game 3 - Leads Finals 2-1!

The Miami Heat hung on for dear life last night with a huge Game 3 win over the Dallas Mavericks, 88-86, in front of 20,340 pricks at the American Airlines Center. I hate to say it, folks, but the losers from South Beach have regained control of the series, and they were led by Dwyane "The Crybaby" Wade. Recent NBA finals history adds to the importance of this win: the Game 3 winner in a tied series has won the championship all 11 times since the 2-3-2 format began in 1985. Although that is a very disheartening statistic, Prick Cabin has no choice but to stand firm on the Mavericks winning in six. Get ready for three Dallas wins in a row, jerkoffs!!! Jerk it! Choke the old chicken! Spank the monkey! Pull the fuckin pork! Enough is enough!!!! Get these motherfuckin cocksuckers out of the motherfuckin Finals!!!!! I feel like Dr. Richard Fuckin Kimble today! I'm horny! I'm desperate for a change of clothes, and all I want to do is stick my dick in a bowl of garlic-mashed potatoes! I'll supply plenty of fuckin gravy, too! As a matter of fact, I hope Dirk sprays all over Coach Spoelstra's face, after he leads the Mavs to a Game 4 victory tomorrow night! Mavs in six! Click it or ticket! Get lost, Aikman! You creep!!!